Totes Amaze – Apparently!

After much cajoling by my social media fanatic friend I am back to try and be more dedicated to this blog. But without wanting to make excuses it has been a busy two weeks and quite a life change, so sympathy is welcome!

I’ll give you the quick down low so you know what is going on in my Hollywood life…

About 7 years ago (ok 8 if I want to admit I’m nearly 30) I met a man who shall we say was my Mr.Big; swept me off my feet and then hurt me really badly. We spent 2.5 years together then bailed because it was too volatile and passionate. I then fled to Canada where I had the time of my life, enjoyed a few gentleman callers and met another man (albeit trying to stay single – more about that later) who turned out to be my best friend not my boyfriend. We moved to London for 10 months then made a snap decision to move to Australia. Fast forward 2.5 years – living on the Gold Coast and in Sydney, my Mr.Big flying over to tell me it had all been a terrible mistake and he wanted me back and struth, here I am back in London again, single, jobless and living with Mummy again. Fall from grace or courage step forward to happiness? Hmm I’m not sure which either…yet.

The great thing about being back in England and not in Australia is I can now talk to people in real time. For those that aren’t so keen on travel out there, real time is the opposite to ‘Fuck It’s Skype Time’ or FIST if you want to abbreviate – FISTing if you want to be clever and dirty. There is always that moment on a Sunday night when it dawns on you you should talk to your family. As lovely as it always is, it requires great effort after a long day at the beach and a few ciders to get the laptop, text the person you need to speak to and then settle into some face time with the parentals. The inevitable ‘what have you been up to, how’s the job, how are you and boyfriend who should have just been best friend’ etc etc.. Instead of this weekly ritual I can now just pick up my phone and say ‘hey I’m coming to see you – be there in 5’ and it’s the best feeling ever – a little luxury you forget about until you have it again.

This brings me to the title of my blog today and this new (or maybe I’m just late to the game?) obsession with abbreviations. Fabs, defo, btw, atm, whateves, and finally totes. For a few Aussie ones I’ll throw in devo (devastated) povo (poverty as in that guy’s a povo bogan) and here’s a beauty – babe as (as in I love Justin Beiber he’s babe as.)

I get how addictive it is, as it does feel sort of nice to say them but I can’t help but think it’s text slang gone mad!

But in honour of my little discovery I’ll list a few things that are totes amaze:

Animal Beatbox
Hamster on a Piano
Fuzzy Fuzzy Cute Cute and
Dick in a box vs Mother Lover

Feel free to look these little beauties up on YouTube and have a giggle to yourself – you’ll soon be finding the voice in your head saying totes amaze for defo obvs!

Until next time…and the accent chameleon…lol : )

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